Stop Being Nice at Events (And Start Being Strategic) with Chris McMartin
“It will feel like less work if it's authentic. When you're building authentic relationships, you're actually getting to know people, finding common values, and working toward similar goals. It becomes less about effort and more about connection.” Chris McMartin
Stop Being Nice at Events (And Start Being Strategic) with Chris McMartin
"I used to hate speaking publicly and going into rooms full of people I didn't know. It was an absolute nightmare." Now Chris McMartin's superpower is building authentic connections that drive real business results.
In this episode, Chris shares her journey from dreading events to becoming a master connector, and reveals why playing small at events is costing you opportunities. She pulls back the curtain on her transformation and gives practical, actionable insights on becoming unforgettable (without feeling sleazy).
From her signature red power suits to the specific goals she sets before walking into any room, Chris breaks down how to show up authentically while driving real business results. She also tackles the exhausting reality of networking (spoiler: even extroverts need recovery time) and provides a fresh perspective on building relationships that actually convert.
Whether you're ready to uplevel your presence at in-person events or trying to figure out how to stand out authentically in a crowded space, this conversation will transform how you think about networking.
Highlights:
Stop going to events without clear goals. Whether you want to meet 20 new people or connect with one specific person, having measurable objectives changes your results and your confidence.
Trying to network in spaces that don't energize you is a waste of time. Find the environments, people and conversations that light you up - those are the relationships that will drive business growth.
Being memorable doesn't mean being someone you're not. Whether it's a signature accessory, a conversation starter, or just your authentic way of showing up, find what works for you and own it consistently.
The "would you say this in person?" test is the fastest way to determine if your online networking strategy is effective. If you wouldn't walk up to someone at an event with that opener, don't use it in their DMs.
Timestamp summary:
Timestamp summary:
[00:01:31] Cindy and Jess introduce Chris McMartin and her focus on networking as a business superpower.
[00:02:49] Chris shares her early fears of networking and how she grew into her love for connecting with others.
[00:04:29] Discovering a passion for hearing small business stories and supporting entrepreneurs.
[00:06:09] Defining “right people” and using curiosity to identify who energizes you.
[00:08:34] Chris explains how to gracefully exit conversations that don’t feel right.
[00:10:41] Building authentic relationships takes time and effort but feels less like work when it’s genuine.
[00:12:53] Why follow-ups need to include a thoughtful “give” to be effective.
[00:14:52] How to avoid the trap of self-serving “gifts” in your follow-up.
[00:16:31] Setting realistic networking goals to measure success and stay motivated.
[00:18:45] Should you start with local or large-scale networking events? Chris shares her advice.
[00:23:20] The benefits of starting local and growing your network strategically.
[00:28:14] How to network effectively online and avoid the typical LinkedIn pitfalls.
[00:30:55] Chris’s tips for being memorable, from bold outfits to creative introductions.
[00:36:11] Why connecting on LinkedIn beats handing out business cards.
[00:38:14] Chris shares her confession: Even extroverts need recovery time after big networking events.
Find Us Online: https://www.confessionswithjessandcindy.com/
Connect with Chris:
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/chris-mcmartin
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hypeher_boss/
Connect with Cindy:
Cindy Wagman Coaching https://cindywagman.com/
The Good Partnership https://www.thegoodpartnership.com/
Connect with Jess:
Out In the Boons: https://www.outintheboons.me
Transcript:
Transcript:
[00:01:31] Cindy: Hey Jess. Hello.
[00:01:33] Jess: Hello.
[00:01:34] Cindy: How's it going?
[00:01:35] Jess: Great.
[00:01:36] Cindy: Good. I feel like this episode goes really well with an episode you and I just recorded, so I can't wait. I feel like actually this might be a soapbox for 2025 of like a theme that we are going to get into. I, my guess is a lot because While we're talking about networking and building a strong, [00:02:00] meaningful, authentic network.
[00:02:02] Cindy: And you know how I feel about the value of your network to business development, right? Like, to me, that's the number one way you're getting clients. and it's one of the biggest things people struggle with. So, I don't know, maybe this is a theme for 2025. can't wait. We'll find out. So our guest today is Chris McMartin from the Scotiabank Women's Initiative.
[00:02:26] Cindy: Chris, welcome to the podcast.
[00:02:28] Chris: Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm really excited to be here and I'm so excited to hear this upcoming theme of building connections because that's, that's my superpower.
[00:02:39] Jess: Oh,
[00:02:40] Chris: amazing.
[00:02:41] Chris: Wait,
[00:02:41] Jess: can we start there? Like, is this something you've always known about yourself or it's been kind of nurtured and developed over time?
[00:02:49] Chris: No, so it's, it's actually funny. when I was younger, the idea of speaking publicly, going into large groups or here going into a room full of all these [00:03:00] people, you don't know, like that was an absolute nightmare. Like it is to most people. Like that's, you know, I hear that all the time. And, and, no, I've just realized in the last few years that it actually is my superpower.
[00:03:13] Chris: and so I like to speak about. You know, maybe it's yours too. And you don't even know it. Maybe you're just not doing it right.
[00:03:20] Cindy: Oh, I'm so excited. Okay. I have two questions, but I kind of want to, I want to learn about your journey where you discovered this. So I'll start, let's start there and I'll, I'll pocket the other one for later.
[00:03:32] Cindy: So how did you, how did you discover this from being uncomfortable and not really figuring it out? What What was your journey like?
[00:03:42] Chris: So, I'm coming up on 17 years, with Scotiabank. And, when I first started, like when I was in college, like when I was in high school, the idea of standing in front of a room of people and speaking and having to go and introduce myself to all of them and was just like, [00:04:00] please don't make me do this.
[00:04:02] Chris: Please. I'll do anything else. Just don't make me do this. and then when I really started to dive into my role and when I started with the bank, my, my role started out as an advisor and then I, I moved into being an advisor for small businesses. And as I started to do that and I started to, my job was to go and learn about small businesses and go visit their small businesses and hear their stories and, what they were doing and what they wanted to do.
[00:04:29] Chris: And the more and more I started to do that, the more I, one, realized that I loved hearing their stories and asking them more and finding out more. And the more businesses I met, the more I wanted to meet. and then I started to realize that, like, wait a second, maybe I didn't Not like meeting new people, maybe I was not meeting the right people, like maybe all of a sudden now that I'm meeting the people I'm really interested to meet, now it's really exciting and I can't wait to meet more and so that's when I started to develop that sort of, okay, [00:05:00] wait, maybe I, you know, maybe I wasn't, Focused on the right thing.
[00:05:05] Chris: And so as soon as I started to get that vibe of like, Oh my God, I love being around entrepreneurs, like, cause they're a vibe there. They're every, it doesn't matter what industry they're in product service. Does it doesn't matter an entrepreneur. And I say that term like entrepreneurial mindset in general, so they can work in corporate, but if they've got that entrepreneurial mindset, that vibe is so contagious.
[00:05:28] Chris: And I just wanted to meet more people. people like that and I wanted to see them be more successful and I wanted to be part of it. And so it just became, I wanted to learn more. I wanted to talk to more people. And the more I did that, the more I discovered that I was really good at doing that. And then people would say, Hey, can you come talk to these 10 people?
[00:05:45] Chris: And then these 20 and then these 300. And then, and then it was like, Oh yeah, no, I don't mind talking in front of people at all, actually, as long as they're the right people. And I'm talking about the right thing.
[00:05:56] Cindy: Okay, I, those are [00:06:00] two things I want to get into, but let's start with the right people. And what I hear just from like how you're talking is passion.
[00:06:09] Cindy: And for our consultants who work with nonprofits and sometimes it can be super uplifting and sometimes it can be super draining. Nonprofits, you know, sometimes are a little crazy. how do we think about They're like getting in front of or being with the quote unquote right people for us. in a way that doesn't feel like I know everyone when we think of networking, it feels like over calculated.
[00:06:37] Cindy: So how do we, how do we find that balance or define what right means they're the right people mean for us?
[00:06:45] Chris: Yeah. So for me, I think one of the most important things is, you know, you feel it. And so when you get that little, huh. I really enjoyed speaking to that person, or, oh, that one event, or that one meeting, or that whatever it is, and you're [00:07:00] like, that actually felt pretty good, like that didn't feel weird, that felt good.
[00:07:04] Chris: And then maybe just take a minute to be like, why? Why did it feel different from the other events? Why did that conversation feel better than the last time I tried to have a similar conversation? And so dig a little deeper in, was it the person? Was it the location? Was it the time of day? Was it? Was it?
[00:07:19] Chris: Was it the topic of conversation? Whatever it is. And as you start to take those and I like sticky notes are my obsession. Like I love post its. So I'm like, that's my post it, right? I'm like, okay. It was definitely had something to do with the fact that it was all women in the room. I'm going to use that as an example.
[00:07:35] Chris: Okay. So then that goes in my little post it note women in the room. That's a big one for me. That's a vibe. And then the next time you're like, Oh, wait a second. This one felt okay. Why? Oh, it felt okay because we were talking about, you know, something I'm super passionate about and they're super passionate about.
[00:07:50] Chris: Okay, what's that topic? Okay, that's my sticky note. And then at the end, you're going to have this thing that's like, here's these 10 things that I know are my place, my people, my place, [00:08:00] my, my vibe, the energy I'm looking for. And that's where you're going to be the most successful.
[00:08:06] Cindy: Okay, I love that because a lot of what you're talking about is curiosity, which is, as Jess knows, my favorite thing.
[00:08:12] Cindy: I love it. Yeah, so before we get on to sort of like the right topics and other, finding the right other things, coming to mind is kind of a, maybe a cheeky question, which is like, when we know it's not right, How do we like bolt out of there? Like, how do we cut our losses and be polite, but move on?
[00:08:34] Chris: Yeah. So I get this question all the time. And so I, I always give the same answer and I'll say this. I'll give you what I would do at the stage I'm at in my developing relationships, sort of mastery, but I'll also tell you what you could do if that's not comfortable for you. So, so for me, if I'm, I'm speaking to someone, I'm like, nope, This is, this is not it for me.
[00:08:57] Chris: This is not my place to be. I'm okay with [00:09:00] being like. I hope that this event, calm meeting, whatever it is, is super successful for you. I have to make my way to the next conversation, the next meeting, the next event, whatever it is, have a great day. It's been lovely chatting with you and I'm gone. I have no problem doing that.
[00:09:16] Chris: Now, some people are like, that's uncomfortable. I feel bad. I feel guilty. Or what if I've got to stay at the same event? I just don't want to talk to them anymore. Like, and so in that, I will say there's nothing wrong with being respectful, polite. And making a little tiny white lie like there's nothing wrong with being like I am really sorry I just saw someone that I have to I have to connect with I was looking for them earlier or Oh my goodness.
[00:09:40] Chris: I'm, sorry I just have to go take this phone call or I've got to run to the washroom like there's nothing wrong with just sort of interrupting that saying Thank you so much. You've been polite and walking away from it. That's okay.
[00:09:52] Jess: Yeah, that's great advice. I love a concrete example Cindy and I talk about this a lot that Relationship [00:10:00] building actually takes a lot of work, sometimes a lot of time, And I'm curious what some of your follow up steps are post initial meeting, right?
[00:10:10] Jess: Like, examples of how you do that, over how many steps, at what point, if someone's, ghosting you or no reply, do you move forward? because To pretend that that first initial meeting is going to be enough to solidify a meaningful relationship. It's totally not going to happen. so I think knowing in advance of going to a larger gathering, for example, the work to come might be helpful for folks.
[00:10:41] Chris: Absolutely. So a couple of things I'll share. The first thing that I'll share that's really important is it will feel like less work if it's authentic. So if you are building authentic relationships where you're actually getting to know people, it will feel like less work because [00:11:00] you're actually talking about like, what do we have in common?
[00:11:03] Chris: Do you know, do we have similar values? Do we have similar goals? Are we looking to get the same thing done? It's less work. Because if we're both working on the same goal, then why wouldn't we want to talk to each other? Like, then you're not gonna ghost me, right? Because we have the same goal in mind, and we can help each other get there.
[00:11:23] Chris: But if you don't have those deeper conversations to build that authentic relationship, then we might not know that. So I'll start by saying authentic's important. Actually get to know people. Don't expect to walk into anywhere, a meeting, an event, whatever it is, introduce yourself and be like, Hey, I want you to sign on as a partner and then be like, yeah, I'm in.
[00:11:45] Chris: Like that's not going to happen. So don't lead with that. Like, you know, lead with, I want to get to know you more. What do you do? What's your business do? Whatever it is, but just get to know them because then it's less work. The other thing when it comes to [00:12:00] follow up that I, I stress and I can't stress enough.
[00:12:04] Chris: is one, don't follow up with nothing. So don't just be another email or DM or text message or whatever it is in their inbox that they have no idea how to respond to. Cause you didn't actually give them anything or ask for anything. Like don't ever send an email that says, Hey, I met you last Wednesday at this event and I just wanted to connect.
[00:12:35] Chris: Now what? What do you want them to do with that? You haven't asked them anything. You haven't, first of all, you haven't told them anything that's going to spark who you were at that event. So they might not even know who you are, what you were talking about, why they should connect with you. So never just, never just connect with nothing.
[00:12:53] Chris: Always connect with a give first. So always connect by, Hey, [00:13:00] when I met you, we were speaking about your passion for ice skating. I don't know. I'm just going to use that. Okay. We were speaking about how you were super passionate and you were going to this ice skating thing. And I just read this amazing article on how ice skating is really good for your mental health.
[00:13:16] Chris: I thought I would share it with you. So a gift doesn't have to be amazing. It doesn't have to be like life shattering, like, guess what, I bought an ice skating team, like, it just, it just has to be enough to be like, look, I remember this authentic thing we spoke about, and I'm just sharing with you something that you might find interesting.
[00:13:33] Chris: Because now they're like, oh, that was really nice. And at the very least, they're gonna write back. Wow. That was really nice. Like, thanks. I enjoyed that article. Or yeah, I saw that. That's great. And now you've got a real conversation.
[00:13:46] Cindy: Okay. I love that. And Jess will often say, like, say the nice thing out loud, even if that gift is just saying something nice about that person.
[00:13:55] Cindy: You're our conversation really stuck with me for this [00:14:00] reason. Because what I hear a lot of coaches or other people say, like the, like gift. Or like the give, let's call it a give, is like, here's a free resource, here, you can sign up for my email list like this. And that, like I, yeah, like sometimes it works, but immediately gives me the ick.
[00:14:21] Cindy: Immediately gives me the like, oh, we went from like building this Meaningful, nice relationship. And now you're like, you're, I can tell you're building up to pitch me on something because your gift
[00:14:34] Chris: or your gift should never be self serving because then it's a take, it's not a gift, right? Like, so if I say here, my gift to you is you can have my free thing.
[00:14:45] Chris: That's going to put you on my email list. That's not a gift. That's a take I'm taking your email.
[00:14:52] Cindy: I, that I think is so helpful and brings me to one of the things I wrote down one of my questions was like, I know people [00:15:00] have a really hard time because we will say, get to know people build a relationship networking is about relationship building, and it leads to business.
[00:15:08] Cindy: Yes, but as soon as you say, and it leads to business, people get this tunnel vision and they get awkward, they get like they're like oh fuck how do I do how do I do that. And have it not be about business because I know it's about business. So I'd love to hear your advice for people when they get caught up in their own mindset of like, but at the end of the day, I want business.
[00:15:32] Cindy: Right. So how is this not about business?
[00:15:35] Chris: Yeah. So the first thing I'll say is take that sort of, sneaky feeling off the table. Everyone knows it's about business. So like, don't be like, Oh my God, like I want business, but I don't want to tell them. They know you want business. Like everyone knows everyone's networking for the same reason.
[00:15:51] Chris: Everyone is there because they want to give or take business. Like that's why they're there. So like, we don't have to feel bad about that. We're all [00:16:00] here for the same reason. We are all here to build our network. And the reason you build a network is to do good business. Like that's just, we're all here for the same thing.
[00:16:08] Chris: So like, let's not feel bad about that or awkward about it. Cause that's why we're here. The second thing I will say is that if it's sincerely about business in your business, you set goals. So why don't we go into networking situations with goals? Because you will never feel successful if you have no measurement of success.
[00:16:31] Chris: So when you're going into any sort of networking situation, make sure you're going into it with the understanding of what you want out of it. So that when you're done, you can be like, wow, that was successful. Or that sucked. And I'm going to have to do better. Right. And so then you have a measurement, but if you just go in, you're like, I'm going to go to this thing.
[00:16:53] Chris: I'm going to go to an event. I say events a lot. Cause it's events that we're all going to, to meet all these people. Right. And so you go to an [00:17:00] event, there's a hundred people in the room. You walk in the room, you spend the night uncomfortably introducing yourself, talking to all these people you don't know.
[00:17:07] Chris: You go home at the end of the night and someone says to you, how did it go yesterday? And you're like, well, I'm tired. But like, how, what does that mean? Like, was, are you going to do it again? Well, how do you, I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to do it again, right? Like, who knows? But, so I think it's important that we make sure we go in with a goal.
[00:17:26] Chris: Like, okay, I'm going to this tonight. Why? How many people do I want to meet? Or is there one person that I'm like, Ooh, I saw them on the list. And they're the person I want to meet. Is it that I really need to find someone who's really good at. Ice skating. And as soon as I find that person that's good at ice skating, I'm going to build a relationship.
[00:17:46] Chris: Like, so go in with a goal. So that when you leave, you're instantly like, I did it. I met my goal, whatever that was. I met my goal. And now you feel successful. And now next time someone says, Hey, you want to go do this thing? [00:18:00] You know if it's a worthwhile thing or not.
[00:18:02]
[00:18:07] Jess: Okay, Chris, we're back for rapid fire questions. You ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Okay. Right before we press record, you mentioned that your office is Santa's workshop or holiday workshop full of gifts. What was the number one gift
[00:18:22] Chris: on your kids holiday list? Oh, that's a tough one because I have so many kids of so many different ages.
[00:18:29] Chris: So I'll say for the older ones, it was like house stuff. They're getting ready to go out on their own. Excuse me. So they needed stuff like, you know, the air fryer so they could cook food and like that sort of thing. And then right down to the youngest who is like kindergarten age, we're very much into slime.
[00:18:46] Chris: Slime is a big one this year. I think it's gross. but she's a big fan. she's also very fancy. So she likes anything that's like hair and makeup. So she loves to do her own makeup. She loves to like do fun things [00:19:00] in her hair. So hair and makeup was big.
[00:19:02] Jess: Yeah. My eight year old put skincare on her list and I was like, okay, girl.
[00:19:09] Jess: okay. What is your number one favorite color to wear?
[00:19:13] Chris: Ooh, I'm gonna say, okay, number one favorite color to wear, I'm gonna say like a bright pink, like a hot pink, neon pink, coral pink is my number one favorite because I think it stands out the most and I don't know why but it always makes me feel more summery, like it always makes me feel tanned and I, I feel better when I'm tanned so.
[00:19:36] Chris: Yeah, who doesn't?
[00:19:38] Jess: Okay and then last question if, hopefully, This works on the spot. Do you have the most memorable connection? Like someone who connected with you that you're just like doing the slow clap in the background kind of situation?
[00:19:53] Chris: Yes, I do. Oh, I have two and now I have to decide. Okay I'll [00:20:00] give you i'll give you one for sure that I I know is is big and i'll it's because we met it At mama con cindy and I i'll use my mama con example.
[00:20:08] Chris: And so, there was an individual and she is An absolutely amazing human. Her name is Liat, and I was at MamaCon one year, and I was standing talking to, you know, five or six different women just in a circle chatting, and from across the room, I heard someone say, Oh my God, I'll be back. I'm sorry. I have to go meet Chris.
[00:20:25] Chris: And I heard her coming over, and she came over, and she was like, Chris? I have to meet you. My name is Liat. She's like, I just I can't I have to your vibe is I love everything about it And I don't know why but I need to meet you and you need to meet me and we just need to know each other and From that moment, we've done amazing things together.
[00:20:45] Chris: We've, we've, you know, had talks together. We've done masterclasses together. We like, it just, it was so spectacular that in that moment, she just knew that our vibe worked together and we needed to know each other. So that's my most [00:21:00] memorable for sure.
[00:21:00] Jess: Yeah. You were meant to be connected almost. Yeah. I love that.
[00:21:04] Jess: Okay, cool. Thank you for playing.
[00:21:11] Jess: Okay, that's so good because I think that having that feeling of accomplishment is so motivating to do it again.
[00:21:19] Jess: And when we lack that, we're like, why would we ever do that again? You know? Yeah. Yeah. I, I'm, when you were talking right now, Mike, Question in my head was what are some, in your opinion, realistic expectations of accomplishments? Because I, I sometimes see this with, either nonprofit consultants or like back in the day, fundraisers go in with these just like crazy expectations about what they would get out of an hour or two networking session.
[00:21:48] Jess: And it's like. Dial it down, you know, especially if maybe this is something you're new to. like I know for example, like LinkedIn is a post, an [00:22:00] often post meet up experience, like what could be an expectation or goal around that? Or is it,you know, surprisingly, I think a lot of entrepreneurs are actually introverts.
[00:22:11] Jess: And so doing this work in general is very uncomfortable. And so it's like, Don't put the pressure to make 10 people, maybe do X. Like, what could you,
[00:22:21] Chris: what could you advise people? Sure. So I think that it depends on a couple of things and, and where you're at in your business. And I don't necessarily mean time.
[00:22:31] Chris: I mean, like, are you at a point where you really need to grow your brand? And you just need people to know what your business name is. Are you at a point where you're looking for specific partner sponsors? Somebody to work with, are you looking for? So it depends. There's, there's a few different areas. And so what I would say is that if you're at a point where you're starting off or at a major point in growth, where you really just need as many people as possible to know your name, know your business name, know what you do, [00:23:00] then I would say that's a numbers game.
[00:23:02] Chris: So that is when you're going to go in and you'll be like, I'm going to meet. 20 new people tonight, because that's all the point is. The point is, is that 20 people are going to hear the business name, what you do, what you're about, and hopefully that's going to stick with them. And you're going to connect with them on LinkedIn so they could see your story progress, right?
[00:23:20] Chris: But maybe that's not the goal. Like maybe, like I said, there's specific goals. Like I need to bring someone into my business who can handle my social media. So then your goal of the night is not to meet 20 people. Your goal of the night is to meet one person. One person who's an expert at social media, or who is doing their social media really well and maybe can refer you to who helped them.
[00:23:45] Chris: Like, so you have one person that you need to meet. And that may take speaking to 25 people to meet the one person, but maybe the goal is just that one person with that one skill.
[00:23:58] Jess: That's so [00:24:00] helpful. I'm wondering if you've, just because you go to a lot of events and you do a lot of networking, if you have seen a trend in whether it's size or style of event or whether it's the host, I guess what I'm thinking is I know a lot of people listening are like, I'm going to go to AFP icon, which is the largest nonprofit fundraising country conference in the country.
[00:24:27] Jess: And like, that's going to be the place. And I'm like, I don't know, maybe you should like find your local chapter or like, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe you, maybe you're like AFP icon is the best place to network. I don't know what your answer is going to be, but have you seen a trend in terms of either.
[00:24:45] Jess: Size or time of year or just anything that you can recommend to people who are maybe out there searching.
[00:24:53] Chris: Yeah. So I think what I would recommend is start local, get to know the [00:25:00] people who are in your community because that helps no matter what. So that gives you that support network. No matter what. So like, maybe they're going to say, yeah, we should go to, you know, Calgary and go to the big, huge, whatever.
[00:25:16] Chris: Like, and maybe that's what they all think is the best idea. And then maybe you go do that. But you need to know people who are in your community working with like your clients or their clients, if you're in the same community. Right? And so you need to know people in your community. That's how you're going to start.
[00:25:33] Chris: And then you'll slowly want to, okay, that went really well. And now there's a couple of people who mentioned that last year they attended this maybe regional sort of size event. And so maybe I do that. And then, you know, now that we're growing, there's this sort of national event that a couple of people I know have talked about.
[00:25:50] Chris: I would say, That's the best way to build out because then you're doing it as a community. If you go to this large, like the, you know, the [00:26:00] 2000 people a day, four day event and like your goals have got to be pretty lofty for what you're looking for. Right? Like don't expect that you're going to walk out of there with 10 new connections that are going to help you do your business in your small town or city.
[00:26:19] Chris: Because you probably aren't going to meet people that live in your small town or city if you've just traveled across the country to go meet these people.
[00:26:29] Cindy: Okay. I want to talk a little bit about online. Because I know I'm like a huge believer in, in person. I think we've all experienced that. Yeah. It just, it hits different.
[00:26:43] Chris: It does.
[00:26:43] Cindy: But I do get like, we can't all be at all the things all the time And there are people we want to meet online And I I mean we all get the linkedin outreach, which is like hey Oh my god. [00:27:00] Can I tell you when I got today?
[00:27:01] Jess: I have to interrupt. I'm, so sorry, but like today I was like Wowza. I had a post yesterday that got quite a lot of engagement, and I got an email from someone today that was like, in response to your LinkedIn post, so like, hey, A plus for good subject line, but then it was like, I saw you engage with Jess Campbell's post like, oh no, I am her Jess Campbell and it was like And like what it immediately was a pitch and I was like, oh my gosh, I mean I I My immediate reaction was like Go get my megaphone and shout it.
[00:27:46] Jess: No, it was like shouted to the rooftops, how bad this is and how this doesn't work, stop doing this. This is a waste of time, but like, it's really bad out there, really bad in the DMS [00:28:00] and apparently my inbox. so please like to Cindy's point, I think there is probably a way to do it. Well, but how, because people like, I would say.
[00:28:10] Jess: 99 percent of people are missing the mark.
[00:28:14] Chris: Yeah. So I agree with you. I think in person is different. And for me, like that definitely is more of my superpower than anything is that in person. I love the vibe. I love the energy. I love that. That means a lot to me now. That being said is that I do have. quite a network on, you know, online, on LinkedIn, on socials, that I appreciate as well.
[00:28:38] Chris: And, and a couple of details I can give is that if you're trying to meet someone through online that you've never had the opportunity to meet in person, the first thing I would suggest is don't show up cold. And so, like you said, don't just show up and be like, oh my God, I saw this one thing. You did this one time.
[00:28:57] Chris: Like, no, don't do that. So. Like, [00:29:00] like their stuff and comment on their things and share stuff that you might have in common and build that relationship like you would build it if you were in person. Like, have a conversation. Don't, if I walked up to you in person, And was like, Hey Jess. So I was just curious if maybe you wanted to buy into my business.
[00:29:21] Chris: Like I would not do that in person. I wouldn't. So why would you do that online? And I agree with you. I get them all the time. That is right into, Hi, it's so nice. I saw your post and like, we'd love you to buy this. Yeah,
[00:29:35] Jess: that is such a good barometer test. Like, would you do this in person? Would you say this to someone's face upon first initial meeting?
[00:29:44] Jess: If the answer is no, like, don't do it.
[00:29:47] Chris: I'll share one of my good stories, because I like that you shared yours from today. One of the best, so I consider myself someone to have a super power of connecting, building relationships, And [00:30:00] obviously I have a very good personal brand. I'm fairly well known. I'm very unique looking in the sense that I'm like distinguishable.
[00:30:07] Chris: Like, so I have a different haircut for a woman. I am six feet tall. I wear bright colors. I have interesting glasses. I'm covered in tattoos. Like I, so I have, I don't look the same as everyone else. And so I'm quite easy to pick out of a crowd. And I had someone reach out to me who I'd never spoken to before, who sent me a message like, Hey, I'm, I'm a brand builder.
[00:30:29] Chris: I'd love to work with you on your brand. And I was like, like, we're never speaking.
[00:30:35] Cindy: Like,
[00:30:36] Chris: yeah, like I'm, that's not ever happening. That's not, no, no.
[00:30:41] Cindy: Okay. I want to actually ask because one of the things I wrote down to cut circle back to when I first met you at an event. I think it was, Mama Con through, Lianne Kim, you were wearing this most, the most fabulous bright color, like pink or [00:31:00] red.
[00:31:00] Cindy: I think it was red suit. And, first of all, I just loved it. But also I have heard that like, you should. Intentionally stand out when you are in these, like, in person in places. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that as a strategy. How can you be memorable?
[00:31:20] Chris: Yes. So, definitely, absolutely, 100%.
[00:31:23] Chris: The first thing I have to say is all of So I'm always in some sort of, like, bright suit or something that's very Some sequins, some Like, I got sequin pants. I got Like, I've I've And it all goes to Dotty Clothing, so if you're looking for something that's going to keep you memorable, it's Dotty Clothing, woman owned, women led, made in Toronto, in Toronto.
[00:31:46] Chris: She's amazing. Heather is the founder, is the designer, is the most incredible human, and it's called Dotty Clothing, D O T T Y. Everyone should follow because I love everything that I [00:32:00] wear from Dotty and all of my, like, my red suit, my sequin pants, my, it's all Dotty so start with that. And yes, being memorable is important.
[00:32:10] Chris: And so It could be anything. So I get this question a lot. They'll say, well, that's not me. Like I don't do red suits. I don't do, and that's cool. Then don't that's fine. Don't do stuff. That's not you. That's first and foremost, because if you're uncomfortable, you're already in an uncomfortable situation where you have to go talk to people you don't know.
[00:32:28] Chris: So like, don't start off with like, Oh my God, I hate my outfit. Don't start there. Like start with going in. Like, I feel just like me. So you can be unique in whatever your way is unique. So whether that's you do your hair a fun way, you wear fun glasses. So like my glasses are my like online staple. I can switch out the colors all the time.
[00:32:48] Chris: So they always match what I'm wearing because they just magnetic on and off. And so my glasses always match my suit. And so like that, that's easy for online, right? Cause like when I'm online, then you can't [00:33:00] see it. I'm wearing sequins right now. Like, so, it's easier for that. but like, I, I'm good with the bright colors and I'll wear the fluorescent shoes and I'll, and that's fine, but you don't have to.
[00:33:10] Chris: Like, it could be just like a super signature bag. Maybe that's your thing. It could be just like a really flashy pair of shoes. Like, I get comments on my shoes. I'm always wearing my Maven chaise. So I got the animal print. I've got my blue suede shoes. I've got, and so maybe it's that, that people are going to just notice and remember at the very least, if you say that, like, you know what, that's not me.
[00:33:35] Chris: I'm. You know, a black suit girly. I'm, I'm prefer my jeans and a dress shirt or whatever it is, like whatever you're comfortable in. If you're like, that's my thing. That's cool. Then the memorable part has to be your shining personality, which means it can't be the same as everyone else. And so it has to, you have to be able to make something memorable about yourself.
[00:33:56] Chris: And maybe it's the way you introduce yourself. Maybe it's [00:34:00] your, the way you explain your business. it doesn't always have to be visual. I always say visual helps. It just, it sparks our memory.
[00:34:09] Cindy: I want to give a shout out to a couple people who I know have sort of signature things. so Frank Velasquez Jr.
[00:34:17] Cindy: we were at a conference together and he, he had different kicks every day, bright bold colors. I love that. Super cool. Yeah. And then, Jaya, who's based in Toronto, has a boombox purse. she's been wearing it for years. I met her the first time I met her. She had that. And, I've never forgotten. And immediately the next time I saw her at another conference, I was like, we met before.
[00:34:44] Cindy: So I just love, love, love those things. And, yeah, just shouting them out. Okay. I know Jess has a, has a question though.
[00:34:52] Jess: Yes. And I would be remiss to not shout out our good friend, Rhea Wong, who like you, Chris, with her [00:35:00] glasses, her pink, her red, she switches them out too, but they're kind of like cat eyed.
[00:35:04] Jess: I love it. She's even, interwoven them into her logo. So it's like, one, two punch as far as and stuff. So good. Okay. My question is, we've talked about personality. We've talked about the looks. I'm curious your two cents on business cards.
[00:35:26] Chris: Okay. So that's a good question. And the reason why I made the funny face on the funny noise is that I go back and forth.
[00:35:33] Chris: Okay. I personally do not carry business cards. I, my, I always have my phones with me. And my screen saver on my phone is my QR code that goes to my LinkedIn page. So if you say, Hey, can we connect? I show it to you. You've got my LinkedIn right there. The reason why I like that more than a business card, other than the obvious, like other than the, now you don't have a piece of paper in your [00:36:00] pocket.
[00:36:00] Chris: And now you're like, you don't have to pay to have them printed, like all those great things. But the reason why I like that is because If I really want to connect with someone, I'm never going to leave them with the follow up. So if Jess, you and I meet somewhere and you say, Hey, like, I would really love to connect with you.
[00:36:17] Chris: Can I have your business card? And I give you my business card. Now the control is all in your hands. And what if I really wanted to continue that conversation or relationship? And, and now I just have to depend on, hopefully you're going to follow up. Right. And so I like the idea of like, if we connect on LinkedIn on the spot, now it's in both our courts.
[00:36:37] Chris: Now either one of us can follow up. Cause now we're connected. The other thing I really like about that sort of LinkedIn or, or Instagram or whatever it is, whatever, however you're connecting on socials. The other thing I like about that is that the followup doesn't have to be as forced. So I'll give you an example.
[00:36:54] Chris: We connect at a conference somewhere. We connect on LinkedIn [00:37:00] following that. I share my regular shares of, Oh, I love this small business and Dotty clothing's amazing and cheekbones got a sale. And now all of a sudden you reach out and you're like, Oh, Chris, I saw that cheekbone has that thing on sale.
[00:37:12] Chris: And I was just curious if you ever tried it because I was thinking of. of, you know, purchasing it. And now we've got a conversation. So now it's not as forced because now we're connected and you're seeing what I'm interested in. We're building on that sort of getting to know each other a little bit more because you're seeing what's happening in my feed.
[00:37:30] Chris: And now we can kind of share those relatable things that we're both into and we both like. And and so now it's not, You know, just I'm sending you an email because we met last week, like, I just feel like it helps build that relationship without the work of having to let's book a call.
[00:37:48] Cindy: Awesome. Are we time?
[00:37:51] Cindy: Is it our time for the favorite question? So, Chris, as you know, we like to ask for a confession, [00:38:00] so what is your confession?
[00:38:02] Chris: My confession. My confession is, is that I do a lot of these networking events and building relationships and I talk about it and I'm on stage and everyone's like, oh, you're so confident, you're so.
[00:38:14] Chris: My confession is, is that after every single one, I quickly go back to my hotel room and I put on. my sweats and I crawl into the bed and I eat junk food and I watch trash TV and I don't want to talk to anybody for a good like two hours because my confession is is that yes I'm an extrovert but that doesn't make it less exhausting.
[00:38:38] Jess: Totally. Totally. True, true, true. Yes.
[00:38:41] Cindy: I, like, I love conferences and like. Most people, most of the listeners probably know like we, because I've talked about this a lot, like we exhibit at conferences and stuff like that and it's a lot and I love it, love it, love it. But at the end of the day, I'm like, [00:39:00] if you come near me, I will punch you.
[00:39:05] Cindy: I don't need, I don't want to be around anyone. So, that is, yeah, such a, such a good confession. All right, Chris, where can our listeners Connect with, I mean, where are you on LinkedIn? I feel like I should ask.
[00:39:19] Chris: How did they find you on LinkedIn? Yeah, Chris McMartin on LinkedIn, hyper underscore boss on IG, like happy to connect.
[00:39:29] Chris: but But don't connect unless we're going to get to know each other. If
[00:39:37] Cindy: you didn't say that, I think we'd have a problem. So yeah.
[00:39:41] Chris: Yeah.
[00:39:41] Cindy: Yeah. So good. thank you so much for being here and for sharing all these lovely nuggets of wisdom. I, again, I think this is going to be a theme for 2025.
[00:39:54] Chris: I love it.
[00:39:55] Chris: I love it. If more questions come up, I'm happy to come back.
[00:39:58] Cindy: Thank you. Thanks, [00:40:00] Chris.